What a BFF (Best Fertility Friend) Would Say – Ch. 27

Image: Unsplash/Arno Smit

Apr 8, 2021

These blog posts titled “What a BFF (Best Fertility Friend) Would Say” are a collection of random tips to give you strength and assurance as you try to get pregnant.  I hope they help!

With appreciation for inviting me on your journey,


How to Stop Feeling Stuck

Faced with fear, we all tend to have a dominant response which is fight, flight or freeze.  When overwhelmed or stressed, we move into one of the three responses. 

I want to talk about the most common response that I see with fertility clients and that is the freeze response which is feeling stuck and not being able to feel like any progress is made. 

This often presents itself as constant consumption of information like fertility forums, going down rabbit holes on Google, reading book after book about fertility.  

This makes you feel as if you are doing something, but in reality it’s your mind keeping you safe.  Although you’re learning new information, you’re not actually taking significant meaningful action. 

The freeze response also presents as feeling very drained and not knowing which direction to go in.  When momentum is stopped at a time when you actually want results, it’s a very frustrating experience.

The step here to overcome this stuckness is to be aware of how your body responds and then learn how to come back into balance. Moving energy is the key. That means move your body since that literally moves energy.

Also, take baby actions of self-care by pulling your energy back into yourself so that the overwhelm doesn’t reactivate.  This can mean going for a walk, getting a manicure or massage, reading a leisure book, or just doing nothing.   This can be a nurturing journey if you allow it to be.

Choose What Will Keep You Going

Keep connecting with your vision of having a healthy baby.

Stay focused on what you want, rather than what you fear i.e. not being successful.

When you focus on your fears, they take you off your path onto another road that lead you further and further away from your dream the longer you stay there.

Here are some ways to hold your dream steady:

  • Choose images that inspire you on your fertility journey.
  • Save it on your phone Home Screen or laptop screen
  • Pin up pictures.
  • Create a vision board.
  • Write your vision on sticky notes and place them somewhere you can see them throughout the day.

It’s important to stay connected to your vision.


Creativity Begets Creativity

Having a baby is a creative process. In fact, it is the most important creative process that has populated our planet.

During your fertility journey, you may feel at times like your energy is stuck, not knowing what to do next or when you will be successful. It’s important to keep your creative energy moving to support fertility.

I often recommend my stuck clients find creative outlets that aren’t related to fertility like drawing, painting or music. Creating in any form moves your energy. Fear, doubt, and anxiety contracts and stagnates energy. When energy moves, momentum builds and activates manifestation.

Using manifestation as another strategy to have your healthy baby gives you more opportunities for success than just relying on the traditional route of creating a plan of action items for you to check off.