What a BFF (Best Fertility Friend) Would Say – Ch. 22

Mar 2, 2021

These blog posts titled “What a BFF (Best Fertility Friend) Would Say” are a collection of random tips to give you strength and assurance as you try to get pregnant.  I hope they help!

With appreciation for inviting me on your journey,



Setting Intentions to Improve Your Chances

Setting intentions is a powerful practice you should incorporate into your daily life.

It orients you to a more purposeful focus so you train yourself to expect a future that you want. This way life is not happening TO you but rather WITH you.

I want to share a story about how powerful setting an intention can be. Awhile back, my dog Oreo had an ear infection and the veterinarian down the street said it would cost several hundred dollars to take care of it because they had to put him under anesthesia to clean out his ears, take blood tests, and whatever else they had to do. I decided that I would get another opinion so I went to another vet about two weeks later, because it’s about a 2 hour drive. On my drive there, I set the intention that he would only need OTC medications to resolve the issue. When the vet looked at him, he said there was no ear infection and that his ears just needed a quick cleaning. The entire cost was about $40. Everything was fine.

The point of the story is that setting your intention activates your receptivity to the best possible outcome, one that you may not even be able to think of otherwise.

How do you apply the skill of setting intentions to your fertility?

For example, before your appointment with your fertility doctor, set an intention for the best possible outcome…whatever is appropriate for that particular meeting.

Or if you feel like your period is coming because you’re getting symptoms, set the intention that you will appreciate your period for showing you that you’re still ovulating and with that comes the opportunity to get pregnant. Doing this can help reduce the disappointment you feel when Aunt Flo comes so you’re looking forward to another opportunity to try again.

You can set an intention before you make love with your partner to connect with him or her on a deeper level and to have fun. Doing so can make something that may otherwise be clinical more loving and fulfilling.

So setting intentions frequently throughout the day is my tip to improve your fertility. It’s unusual but it works.

Set your intentions for the small stuff so you can see how well it works. This way when you set intentions for the big stuff, you have more faith in the outcome.

This practice is essential for optimal fertility

Most people understand that we have a master clock in the brain which synchronizes body functions to the 24-hour light and dark cycle. However, recently, it’s been discovered that each organ and, in fact, each cell has its own biological clock that synchronizes to the master clock.

So when we talk about a woman’s biological clock ticking, we are essentially talking about how her circadian rhythm affects her reproductive function.

That means it’s critical for you to get enough rest for your ovaries and eggs to work well.

At around 9pm, your body starts producing melatonin to prepare for sleep. Melatonin is a hormone that regulates sleep and wake cycles. But melatonin is also responsible for protecting eggs when they are close to ovulation, guarding them against free radicals and other harmful substances.

Sleeping with the lights on, checking your cell phone every time it buzzes at night, or having the TV on non-stop will disrupt your body’s melatonin production. This, in turn, can prevent your eggs from getting the protection they need, resulting in poor egg quality.

On top of that, less sleep reduces the body’s antioxidant levels so there is less protection for the eggs, sperm, and other cells.

Our body’s rhythms and many biological processes, including fertility, are dependent on having a regular schedule. Professional athletes know this and adhere to a consistent sleep schedule to optimize their athletic performance.

Aim for 7-9 hours of sleep a night. Your ideal amount is determined by how refreshed you feel in the morning. Wake up around the same time every day, including weekends. Consistency is key!

Stop the “snooze” habit. Get up as soon as the alarm sounds. Get as much sun during the day as you can.

Do Less, Be More

You ever feel guilty for wanting to do nothing? Much less, actually doing nothing?

In a culture where productivity is valued and down time is considered indulgent, women feel pressured to prove their worth by constantly doing something.

Resting is seen as a way to gain energy for the next activity. There’s no value in and of itself.

Unfortunately, this constant need to “do” contradicts the feminine energy of “being” – being in touch with our inner desires so we can identify what lights us up.

It is your femininity that brings light to your partner and to the world at large.

The incessant need to produce tangible results is a masculine energy that is ego driven and if not tamed, blocks the feminine energy of creation.

Creativity, including the ability to create a baby, comes from deep within. It comes from your self-love which should be so full that your cup runneth over to spill over to those lucky enough to be in your sphere of influence.

If you feel like you’re running yourself into the ground, it’s time to take a time out for yourself.

If you’re feeling dried up and withered, so do your eggs. So rehydrate, literally and metaphorically.

Find ways to replenish yourself. Each person is different in what they need to feel alive and rejuvenated. It may be exercise, reading a book, taking a hot bath, manicure/pedicure. Whatever it is, you deserve it.

Only when you are full from within, will you be able to create a life that reflects the beauty within.