What a BFF (Best Fertility Friend) Would Say – Ch. 11

Oct 26, 2020

These blog posts titled “What a BFF (Best Fertility Friend) Would Say” are a collection of random tips to give you strength and assurance as you try to get pregnant.  I hope they help!

With appreciation for inviting me on your journey,


This unexpected cause of fertility issues may apply to you…

When you think about your fertility journey, how do you feel?

If you’re hopeful and confident, awesome. You’re on the right path. Keep up the great work!

However, if you’re feeling stuck, powerless, resentful, angry, or any other negative emotion, look within yourself to see in what other areas of your life, those same feelings arise.

  • Do you feel stuck in your relationship with your partner?
  • Do you feel powerless with your career?
  • Do you resent your friends or family for having the life you want?
  • Are you angry with yourself that you’re not living the life you dreamed of, irrespective of having your baby?

It’s very likely that those emotions are popping up elsewhere.

In smoothing those areas, often the fertility journey becomes easier and less of a struggle.

(Warning! The inner work is uncomfortable but you will be well rewarded with a greater sense of peace, ease, and flow.)

Fertility issues may be a reflection of the struggles you’re already experiencing.

Your solution may lie not in improving your fertility specifically but getting the rest of your life in order so you have a solid foundation for a family to thrive on.

Smart women do this when TTC

Smart women look for solutions to their problems. They don’t waste precious energy on the problem.

Step 1: Identify your problem.

This you already know very well. Your issue is most likely declining egg quality due to age. This diagnosis may be a result of low AMH, high FSH, or ultrasound showing low ovarian reserve.

Step 2: Understand the major causes of the problem and find solutions.

  • Cause: Increasing DNA damage. Solution: take antioxidant supplements e.g CoQ10 and eat more antioxidant foods (brightly colored vegetables) to repair DNA.
  • Cause: Reduced mitochondrial activity and production to generate energy within the eggs. Solution: move your body more to stimulate mitochondrial production.
  • Cause: Normal wear and tear of cells. Solution: get enough rest to allow your body to repair itself and clear out worn parts that hinder proper cellular function.

Notice that nowhere in step 2 did I talk about low AMH, high FSH, or any diagnosis your doctor labeled you with again…that’s step 1.

Become more solution oriented rather than problem focused.

Most importantly, trust that the solutions will resolve the problem.

My most unpopular (but one of my most effective) fertility tip is this…

Without question, my most unpopular recommendation is to eat red meat.

If you’re vegetarian or vegan for religious or ethical reasons, this is a hard pill to swallow so you may not even want to continue reading past this point. And that’s ok. I understand why people don’t want to eat red meat. Unfortunately, your body’s and baby’s physical needs don’t care about your religious and ethical values.

Do women get pregnant as vegetarians or vegans? Absolutely. However, they tend to be younger when their bodies are more resilient and require less nutrients.

We all remember how much we could abuse our bodies in our 20s and early 30s with junk food, alcohol, sugar – you name it – and bounce back.

As we get older, we don’t have that resiliency. We know we have to take care of our bodies.

And part of that is eating red meat to help with preparing for pregnancy.

I actually use red meat as a therapeutic strategy for women who have irregular periods, no periods, or light flow.

I’ve seen countless cases where women’s periods improve in the next menstrual cycle just by eating more red meat.

Red meat increases blood production for thicker uterine lining.

Many women see their flows getting lighter and lighter over time. A lighter flow means that your uterine lining isn’t thickening up as much as it used to and that can prevent an embryo from attaching .

You want to have heavy flow where you need to change your pads every few hours for at least 1-2 days because that’s a sign that your uterine lining is developing adequately.

Buy local, grass-fed meat to reduce the environmental impact. If it’s local, then it doesn’t have to travel as far so less fuel is used. The waste from grass-fed cows adds nutrients back into the soil so it’s actually beneficial to the land. By the way, not all land can be used for crops because it can’t support their growth so it would be wasted if you got rid of livestock.

Just so you know, the largest source of greenhouse gas emissions from human activities in the U.S. is from burning fossil fuels for electricity, heat, and transportation. Only 10% is due to agriculture according to the EPA.

If you’re willing to eat red meat, increase consumption to several servings a week (the bloodier the better) and watch how your period changes for the better because of it.

There is no vegetarian or vegan option for laypersons that comes even close to how effective red meat is in turning a problematic period around. However, you can work with an herbalist to see if herbs will work for you.

When are you most fertile?

There’s a lot of confusion and misinformation about your fertile window period so I’ll clear it up here.

Ovulation is a one time event that happens within one day in your menstrual cycle. Once the egg is released from the ovary, it only has 12 to 24 hours to be fertilized.

However, your fertile window period is actually longer than those 24 hours because of cervical fluid. Monitoring your cervical fluid will extend that small window of fertility to about 6 days of your cycle. That’s because, with the help of cervical fluid, sperm can be kept alive for up to 5 days.

To maximize your fertile window period, check your vaginal secretions in the second week of your cycle.

Typically, most women will go from feeling dry to sticky to slippery when wiping. You probably won’t be dripping with cervical mucus so don’t expect it to come gushing out of you. The best way to tell is by how it feels. When it starts feeling slippery when you wipe yourself, you can then take a look at what you’re producing.

The fertile type of cervical mucus is usually clear and stretchy like egg-white. When it starts getting that way, that’s when you know you’re entering your fertile window period and it’s time for you and your partner to get busy.

And it should be happening several days before ovulation, to give sperm enough time to travel into the uterus and be ready for an egg to make its grand entrance.