September 23, 2021

Women in their late 30s and 40s often ask why it’s so much easier for younger women to get pregnant.

If that’s you, here are some of the main reasons why:

• You automatically assume that it will be more difficult. Reality then bends to fit that assumption. How many times have you expected a certain outcome and it came true? You get what you expect, not what you want.

• Women are flat out wrong about how long it takes for younger women to get pregnant. In my experience, it takes about 6-12 months for women in their 20s and early 30s to get pregnant. Your biased view may be that it’s almost instant but that’s not the reality. Your mind has a nasty habit of picking out the data points that support your beliefs (even if they’re outliers) and ignore the rest. This phenomenon is called observer bias (Google it if you need to be convinced that’s how your mind works). The age factor means that it will likely take longer for you as a woman in your late 30s or 40s to get pregnant, not necessarily that you CAN’T get pregnant. And a lot of women actually prolong that timeline by rushing into medicated fertility treatments without physically and emotionally preparing for pregnancy. Unfortunately, I see that time and time again.

• A whole lot more stress…you now have responsibilities that didn’t exist when you were younger and carefree. You have a partner, possibly a family already (biological or blended), aging parents, work, furbabies to name a few responsibilities.

• You stop making love. Oh, you have sex but it’s for the purpose of having a baby. The term “BD (babydance)” used in forums drives me crazy and not in a good way. It’s no longer about connecting with your partner. Creating a baby is more than having a sperm fertilize an egg. If it were that simple, IVF would be 100% effective. These reductionistic viewpoints and strategies are often more harmful than helpful.

• The cumulative disappointments, failures, and social conditioning over your lifetime make you ask the question of “What’s wrong with my body?” when in the vast majority of women, there is nothing wrong so you might do medical procedures that are unnecessary, such as IVF (as I mentioned above).

A more beneficial and empowering state is believing that you deserve everything you want and that it’s coming to you.

It is from that state of knowing your desires are granted and your job is to let them in that all my work with clients is based on.

The feeling of struggle and stuckness is a clear indicator that you are going against what you know, deep within your soul.

A journey of ease and flow is one that grants you everything you desire and more. It’s the feeling of plugging an address into your GPS and trusting that the map will guide you.

It’s this trust that I encourage my clients to nurture.

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Image: Unsplash/Nathan Anderson