What a BFF (Best Fertility Friend) Would Say – Ch. 2

July 10, 2020

These blog posts titled “What a BFF (Best Fertility Friend) Would Say” are a summary of this week’s tips to give you strength and assurance as you try to get pregnant.  I hope they help!

With appreciation for inviting me on your journey,


Be a Lover, Not a Fighter

Stories, movies, and the news need villains to keep our attention.  Because of that, we are trained to look for the bad guy so we have something to fight against.

Don’t make your fertility journey a fight against your age, AMH level, or whatever diagnosis you’ve been labeled with.

Instead of battling your current situation, stand up for what you want.  Embrace your vision of growing a family by focusing on your relationships with yourself and your loved ones and your health (physically, emotionally, and spiritually).  Only then will the struggle stop and the joy increase.

There’s a fight against almost everything (disease, racism, bullying, drugs, guns, poverty, etc.) and we’re losing. If we fought for what we want instead (health, inclusiveness, kindness, prosperity), a lot of our world’s problems would go away more easily.

How can you shift your perspective to serve you?

Your natural state is well-being

Your cells’ natural state is that of well-being.  Your eggs WANT to do what they’re designed for… to become a baby.  Nurture the spark within them with positivity and love – the kindling that will allow that spark to flame.  Stop putting out their fire with your doubts and fears.

Our brains are designed to protect ourselves from danger – physical and emotional.  So its default setting is that when you feel threatened emotionally, it’s going to come up with excuses to keep you in your comfort zone. I see this happen a lot when a woman says a positive thing then ends it with something negative. 

Let me give you an example of something a client who hadn’t had a period in 3 months said this week “I got my period and never been so happy to have it.  Sounds strange but when time is of the essence, aunt flo disappearing isn’t helpful.”

This is a woman in her 40s, understandably feeling the pressure of time.  So she stated the positive aspect of feeling relief from getting her period after 3 months but then tagged on the negative part about how time is scarce.  And that was her way of protecting herself being hurt if she doesn’t get pregnant by providing a reason for failure.  The problem is that the last statement of time running out and Aunt Flo disappearing contradicts her desire of wanting to have a baby.  Energetically they cancel each other out. 

Be mindful of what words you choose because they can either support your goal of getting pregnant or contradict it. 

Instead, a better way of expressing her relief may have been something like this “I’m really happy about Aunt Flo coming after a 3 month vacation.  I feel so much more hopeful.  I appreciate the positive changes I feel in my body.  I’m gaining more confidence that I can do the same about getting pregnant.” 

Build positive momentum and stop putting the brakes on.  It makes a difference in the long run. 

Be very deliberate about what you say and think because those words pave the road to the future you’re creating.

Move that booty

In order for you to live, energy and blood MUST move.  When they stop, you die.

If energy and blood flow slow down too much, get blocked or stuck, your eggs age faster because they’re not getting the nutrients and energy they need.

Improve circulation by moving your body every day.  The vitality you feel from exercising transmits all the way down to your eggs.

Using face masks and hand sanitizers when trying to get pregnant

Let’s talk about the use of face masks and hand sanitizers as it relates to fertility.

My concern with face masks is that they obstruct air flow, decreasing oxygen availability to your cells for an extended period of time.  Your cells need oxygen – including your eggs, the cells in your uterus, and brain.  And let’s not forget the embryo.  On top of that, you’re breathing back a high concentration of carbon dioxide, which is a waste product.  You inhale oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide.  My recommendation is don’t wear a face mask when you’re alone or with others you’ve been quarantined with such as in your car or open spaces with no one around.

Hand sanitizers need 60% alcohol to break down the lipid membrane of the virus and interrupt the reactions in it.  That concentration will also break down your skin cells causing them to be chronically dehydrated and setting up the stage for inflammation which starts at the skin and can become systemic because it has a domino effect.  This often happens slowly and very subtly over time. 

In addition, the hand sanitizers may have toxic chemicals such as methanol or perfume which is a hormone disruptor.  Kids can get alcohol poisoning if they swallow even a small amount so be cautious about the travel-sized bottles in their backpack.  Small kids need to be supervised and older kids cautioned. 

Buy sanitizers with as few ingredients as possible.  A hand sanitizer really only needs 3 ingredients: water, alcohol, and glycerin (the gel so alcohol doesn’t evaporate). 

Keep in mind, the CDC says that washing hands with plain soap and water for >20 seconds is the best way to kill the coronavirus. 

Obviously, do what’s best for the safety of you and others.  Just be more mindful about what’s required depending on the situation.