What a BFF (Best Fertility Friend) Would Say – Ch. 9

Oct 12, 2020

These blog posts titled “What a BFF (Best Fertility Friend) Would Say” are a collection of random tips to give you strength and assurance as you try to get pregnant.  I hope they help!

With appreciation for inviting me on your journey,


Why uncertainty can help you

If you’re feeling impatient or frustrated by how long it’s taking to get pregnant, take a deep breath.

Like right now. Seriously.


People get into trouble by trying to figure out all the pieces of their fertility journey at once,,,causing them stress, anxiety, despair, and fear because they don’t have all the answers.

The beauty of it is that you don’t need all the right answers this red-hot moment.

You just need to know what your immediate next steps are which will lead you to the next and the next and the next.

Even if you’re doing IVF, you still have to figure out all the steps in between each doctor’s visit, each injection, each blood draw, each ultrasound to optimize your success.

Be ok with not having everything figured out.

In fact, embrace the uncertainty. Those are wonderful moments for you to pause, take a breath, and evaluate which fork in the road feels better for you.

You’ll be surprised by the simple things you can do to make this a smoother, more enjoyable journey.

Avoid these “healthy” foods

When trying to get pregnant, avoid foods with a lot of estrogen, ESPECIALLY if you’re doing medicated fertility treatments such as IVF where you’re getting estrogen medications such as Estrace. 

This is because you want to prevent your estrogen levels from getting too high relative to your progesterone levels, which are critical for maintaining a pregnancy.  This creates a hormonal imbalance called estrogen dominance. 

Common symptoms of estrogen dominance include mood swings, irritability, decreased sex drive, PMS, fibrocystic breasts, fibroids, endometriosis, anxiety, depression, insomnia and, of course, fertility issues. 

Estrogen dominance is extremely common in women with fertility issues. 

The goal is to reduce your exposure to external estrogens as much as possible when you’re trying to get pregnant. 

Foods like tofu, soy products, lentils, chickpeas, hummus, flaxseed, dried fruits are all promoted as healthy foods, BUT they are all estrogen boosting foods that you should reduce your intake of. 

These foods are appropriate AFTER menopause when your ovaries stop producing estrogen but not during the pre-conception period.  So watch your intake of those foods.

1% improvements are enough

Emotion is energy in motion…e-motion.

Emotion must move.

It’s easy for positive emotions to move. When you’re happy, you express it with a bright smile and an air hug (thanks to Covid-19).

In contrast, negative emotions are often suppressed because they feel terrible or it’s not socially acceptable to express them.

However, just like poop, they need to come out or will poison your entire system. Seriously.

Doubt, frustration, resentment, fear about your fertility fester if they’re pushed to the side, with a tub of ice cream adding fuel to the negativity.

Being told that it’s too late for you to have your own baby generates those feelings.

One way to change those emotions is to move your body. To give the doubt, frustration, resentment, or fear a physical outlet.

As you get stronger, you’ll feel more vital. And younger!

Now, motion transforms the negative into positive.

That newfound energy transfers to your eggs, providing the boost they need to develop into healthy eggs capable of being fertilized, implanting, and developing into a strong, beautiful baby.

Best exercise when TTC over 35 years

Emotion is energy in motion…e-motion.  Because emotions are energy, they need to move somewhere. 

Positive emotions are easy to express.  If you’re happy, you smile, give hugs, give kisses. 

Negative emotions on the other hand tend to get stuffed down, dismissed, ignored.  So, they get stuck.  And people self-medicate with alcohol, drugs, sugar to manage those emotions. 

A healthy way to move negative emotions out is with exercise.  Fortunately, it’s also a great way to improve your egg quality.

Mitochondria are the power plants of the cells, including eggs. They are crucial for normal egg maturation, fertilization, and embryonic development. A decreased number of mitochondria contributes to aging of the egg. 

Studies have shown that HIIT (high intensity interval training) help cells rebuild mitochondria that deteriorate with aging. The temporary and beneficial effects of the stress produced by exercising causes cells to make more proteins for their mitochondria, effectively stopping aging at the cellular level.

Specifically,  HIIT in aerobic exercises such as biking and walking seemed most effective in boosting mitochondrial production and function.

HIIT involves short bursts of very intense activity, interspersed with recovery periods of lower-intensity exercise. 

A study showed interval training boosted the ability of the mitochondria within cells to generate energy by as much as 69%. 

Try sprinting for 30-60 seconds then resting for 60 seconds, and work up to doing this cycle for ten minutes.

Do this routine 3-4 times a week which is only 40 minutes a week.

Pick a mantra. Any mantra.

Sometimes it may feel like life is working against you, constantly testing you. And your fertility journey just feels so HARD.

Know that, like the ocean waves, it’s a constant ebb and flow.

Plant your feet firmly in the ground so you accept the push backwards, re-center, and keep moving forward.

Positive momentum will eventually take you where you want to be.

Life is working FOR you, not against you. All is well. All will come in good time. Pick one and use it as your mantra. See how you feel after repeating them to yourself several times a day, for a few days.